We Are Transitioning To Digital Gossip

It’s morning. You’ve wrapped up your early tasks and now you’re headed for tea, still grumbling about that one colleague who called for an early meeting but didn’t show up.

The excuse? Lame. Meanwhile, the rest of you showed up like responsible adults.

Now, you’re itching to know who’s quitting, who’s cheating, and who got called into HR and came out looking like they’d just glimpsed the gates of hell.

But you swore you’d be different this quarter. Focused.

Minding your God-sent business. You’re all in for a better evaluation this time.

Or maybe you’re the boss, the one who absolutely cannot be seen sourcing tea from juniors. So, what do you do?

You turn to the one colleague who never talks back, never spills your secrets, and never loops in HR: ChatGPT.

Yes. While others pretend to work through spreadsheets they barely understand, you’re chatting with a machine that helps you figure out why Sharon always looks like she’s about to slap someone, or how to respond to your boss’s passive-aggressive email without sounding like you’re ready to fight.

This isn’t just gossip. This is gossip with range. Gossip with follow-up questions. Gossip that recommends coping mechanisms and throws in a touch of empathy right when you need it most.

Before you know it, you’re asking the real questions:
“How do I handle a rude boss without looking insubordinate?” “What’s the protocol when you accidentally discover a colleague’s salary and now feel grossly underpaid?” “Is it wrong to befriend your boss’s boss?” “How do I stop dreaming about quitting every time Brenda from Finance opens her mouth?”

No judgment. No side-eyes. No one whispering, “She always knows everyone’s business” in the lunchroom.

Your thoughts are processed, sorted, responded to, and erased. ChatGPT doesn’t screenshot. ChatGPT doesn’t forward. ChatGPT doesn’t meet Brenda for drinks after work.

You might even start feeling like the most emotionally intelligent person in the building, if only the IT guy weren’t silently judging you for the things he knows you’ve been doing behind the scenes. Some of them can be so invasive.

Now, a word of caution:

If your office network is the kind that blocks YouTube at exactly 5:01 PM and sends reports to admin about “unusual activity,” maybe don’t start your session with: “AI, tell me how to seduce a senior manager without damaging team morale.”

Because once your name lands on that monthly “suspicious internet usage” list, it’s hard to explain why you were discussing bedroom politics with a robot named GPT.

So yes, keep your gossip digital. Keep your screen brightness low. And please, for the love of job security, lock your computer when you step away. ChatGPT might be loyal. Your IT department? Absolutely not.

But hold up, don’t go replacing your actual friends with an app.

You still need hugs. You need someone to drag you out for drinks. You need home visits, loud parties, and a familiar face to laugh at your poor decisions. You need a real human to love on you, to argue with you, to show up with food when your wallet is empty.

AI is smart, but it can’t read the room. It doesn’t know how your laugh changes when you’re truly happy. It won’t reach across the table to hold your hand when everything’s falling apart.

So yes, ChatGPT can take your emotional baggage at 2 a.m., but when the power goes out, make sure you’ve still got someone to call. Someone who knows your middle name and shows up in person, not in pixels.